'Thank God for Scoliosis' - Season 6, Episode 12
Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress, while Alan fights sexual tension with his receptionist.
Air Date: January 11th 2009.
Charlie: So you and her [Melissa] are, uh...
Alan: Oh, no-no, no, nothing's happened yet. Just a little kissing, and... she could feel my... "enthusiasm".
Charlie: What, are you Noel Coward? Just say "boner"!
Charlie: Everything work out at the office?
Charlie: Manage to keep your hands off Really Little Annie Fanny?
Alan: Well, not exactly, but, uh, we did keep it above the waist.
Charlie: Her waist or yours?
Alan: Both. And it wasn't easy. I haven't checked, but I'm pretty sure my balls look like two-thirds of the Blue Man Group.
Charlie: Berta, hide the vacuum cleaner!
Alan: For the last time, I use it to get lint off my trousers.
Charlie: Then why do you call it "Brenda"?
Charlie: Listen, buddy, you're gonna have to make yourself scarce. Maybe take a cab home.
Jake: You take a cab home. I'm doing great!
Charlie: How do you figure?
Jake: You blind? First base off the top of my head, second base in my ear...
Charlie: Listen to me, knucklehead, that woman's gotta be ten years older than you.
Jake: So? You're like, fifteen years older than her! Step aside, Grandpa.
Alan: Where are you going?
Jake: I'm a 14-year-old boy who just got ear-boob. Where do you think I'm going?