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Pie Hole, Herb

'Pie Hole, Herb' - Season 6, Episode 2

Alan lends Charlie money and crosses a line in his attempts to get it back.

Air Date: September 28th 2008.

Alan: Thanks, Mom. This is a perfect first job for him.
Charlie: First job? I think you're looking at the birth of a career.
Evelyn: I was gonna have him put up fliers, but I didn't trust him with a staple gun.
Alan: How much are you paying him?
Evelyn: Obviously, too much. Look at him! [Jake is picking his nose] For the record, I promised him $20 and a Playboy magazine.
Alan: Playboy?
Evelyn: Don't worry. I'll Magic Marker over the ta-tas and hoo-hoos.
Charlie: Oh, that's disturbing on so many levels.

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Charlie: What are you doing?
Jake: Thanks to Grandma, I'm reading an interview with Jimmy Kimmel.

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Charlie: OK, OK, look, you're not going out to have fun. You never go out to have fun, because you know why? You're not a fun guy!
Alan: Oh, oh, I am very much a fun guy. We just have different definitions of "fun", and mine doesn't include urinary tract infections and dry heaving.

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Alan: So, bottom line, you don't have my money.
Charlie: No.
Alan: The money you promised to pay back today.
Charlie: The day hasn't even started yet!
Alan: It started for me.
Charlie: That's only because you're on Douchebag Savings Time!

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