'Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?' - Season 2, Episode 16
When Judith decides to take a vacation, Alan has to take care of Jake during the week, and finds it more taxing than he imagined. When his IRS audit forces Charlie to take care of Jake, Charlie doesn't fare much better.
Air Date: February 13th 2005.
Charlie: You like cold pizza, right?
Jake: Sure. (Charlie throws the pizza to Jake) This is frozen.
Charlie: Yeah. If you sit on it, it'll thaw by lunch.
Charlie: (Charlie walks into Jake's room) Get dressed, buddy, I'm taking you to school.
Jake: I can't. I'm sick.
Charlie: Yeah, well, bite me.
Charlie: Don't screw with me, shorty. I only got, like, nine hours of sleep last night.