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Smell the Umbrella Stand

'Smell the Umbrella Stand' - Season 2, Episode 15

Alan starts to worry about a medical procedure that he is facing, and to get his mind off it Charlie suggests they go to Las Vegas.

Air Date: February 6th 2005.

Berta: Oh, damn it. 
Charlie: What?
Berta: The sink's stopped up again. That kid still doesn't know the difference between the garbage disposal and the drain.
Charlie: What do you want? He's eleven.
Berta: That's no excuse. If he can't tell which hole is which at his age, he's headed for big trouble down the line.

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Jake: Well, this is gonna be a sucky weekend. 
Charlie: Try spending it with an eleven-year-old who does nothing but complain.
Jake: You mean me?
Charlie: Boy, no wonder they got to write your name in your underwear.

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Jake: I'm fine. Let's go. We're men.
Alan: Nope. You're too sick.
Charlie: Some other time.
Jake: I'm really sorry I ruined your trip, Uncle Charlie.
Charlie: That's okay. It's not your fault; it's your dad who won't let you go.
Alan: Thanks, Charlie.
Charlie: Hey, why should he feel guilty?

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Alan: [Jake]'s just going to sleep anyway, and I'll keep an eye on him, so you can go.
Charlie: I don't know. It doesn't feel right just abandoning the kid when he's sick.
Alan: Congratulations, now you know what it feels like to be a parent.
Charlie: Yeah. How inconvenient.

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Charlie: Well, not shove, per se.
Berta: (With sink snake) Come on, get in there you sucker.
Alan: I don't know, it just makes me nervous that people are looking inside my ass this time.
Berta: It......just.....won't.....go in!
Charlie: Tell you what. To take your mind off of this whole colonoscopy, I'll take you to Las Vegas for the weekend.
Berta: Great. Now I can't get it out.

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