'Smell the Umbrella Stand' - Season 2, Episode 15
Alan starts to worry about a medical procedure that he is facing, and to get his mind off it Charlie suggests they go to Las Vegas.
Air Date: February 6th 2005.
Berta: Oh, damn it.
Berta: The sink's stopped up again. That kid still doesn't know the difference between the garbage disposal and the drain.
Charlie: What do you want? He's eleven.
Berta: That's no excuse. If he can't tell which hole is which at his age, he's headed for big trouble down the line.
Jake: Well, this is gonna be a sucky weekend.
Charlie: Try spending it with an eleven-year-old who does nothing but complain.
Jake: You mean me?
Charlie: Boy, no wonder they got to write your name in your underwear.
Jake: I'm fine. Let's go. We're men.
Alan: Nope. You're too sick.
Charlie: Some other time.
Jake: I'm really sorry I ruined your trip, Uncle Charlie.
Charlie: That's okay. It's not your fault; it's your dad who won't let you go.
Alan: Thanks, Charlie.
Charlie: Hey, why should he feel guilty?
Alan: [Jake]'s just going to sleep anyway, and I'll keep an eye on him, so you can go.
Charlie: I don't know. It doesn't feel right just abandoning the kid when he's sick.
Alan: Congratulations, now you know what it feels like to be a parent.
Charlie: Yeah. How inconvenient.
Charlie: Well, not shove, per se.
Berta: (With sink snake) Come on, get in there you sucker.
Alan: I don't know, it just makes me nervous that people are looking inside my ass this time.
Berta: It......just.....won't.....go in!
Charlie: Tell you what. To take your mind off of this whole colonoscopy, I'll take you to Las Vegas for the weekend.
Berta: Great. Now I can't get it out.