'Last Chance to See Those Tattoos' - Season 2, Episode 11
After getting unusually turned down at a bar, Charlie learns that a website has been made dedicated to exposing his lifestyle. Charlie sets out to find who created the site, making amends to all those he stood up, but it's harder than it looks when all the women take the apology better than expected.
Air Date: December 12th 2004.
Berta: Last chance to see those tattoos!
Alan: No, thanks.
Berta: I can make the road runner do jumping jacks!
Alan: My failed marriage is like a dead dog, but it serves as fertilizer for the shrub, which represents my new life. So if I try to revitalize the marriage, you know, digging up the dog, then I'm killing the shrub, which is me.
Berta: Like you said, it's apt.
Alan: Thank you Berta, you're a very insightful woman.
Berta: I know. In a just world, you'll be washing my shorts.
Alan: "Frequently Asked Questions".
Charlie: Don't read that.
Alan: Yeah, right. Uhh, okay. "Question: How long can you expect to date Charlie after you have sex with him? Answer: It depends how late you sleep the next morning".
Charlie: Listen to this. "Has anybody had sex with Charlie where he actually bothered to take his socks off?" It's just mean. I have bad circulation in my feet. They get cold.