Berta: I guess if they can put a man on the moon, they can put a woman on your brother. Who's the girl?
Charlie: I don't know. He met her at the supermarket. Helped her pick out corn. 
Berta: Corn? Well, I'm not in any position to judge. I once did a guy for a tank of gas.

Berta: I guess if they can put a man on the moon, they can put a woman on your brother. Who's the girl?
Charlie: I don't know. He met her at the supermarket. Helped her pick out corn. 
Berta: Corn? Well, I'm not in any position to judge. I once did a guy for a tank of gas.

Lisa: (About her baby daughter) Oh, what a hungry little girl!
Charlie: Of course she's hungry. She must have dropped half her body weight in that last diaper!

Jake: Dad, are you and Mom related?
Alan: (shocked) I'm sorry, what?
Jake: Well, if you marry your cousin, your kids will be stupid, right?

Charlie: See you later. And by "later," I'm hoping tomorrow.
Alan: Is there anything in your shower I need to know about?
Charlie: Oh, come on. That's the most action you've had in months.