'Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats' - Season 1, Episode 17
Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.
Air Date: February 22nd 2004.
Charlie: No, you don't understand. He fell on his head. He's bleeding.
Nurse: Okay. Follow my finger. (moves her finger to the left, right, up and down in front of Jake's face, and smiles) He's gonna be fine.
Charlie: That's it? He's fine? That's not a medical test. That's how you hypnotize a chicken!
Charlie: (filling out a form for Jake at the hospital) First name. Jake. Ob?
Charlie: Jacob. I knew that. What's your middle name?
Jake: You don't know?
Charlie: Of course I know. I'm just checking to see if you know. You fell on your head, dude!
Charlie: David. Jacob David. Your parents sure went Old Testament on you, didn't they?
Charlie: (playing one-on-one basketball with Jake) Haha! Not so easy when I'm paying attention, is it?
Jake: Not so hard, either.
Charlie: I'm gonna grab my keys, and we'll head to the hospital.
Jake: I don't want to go to a hospital!
Charlie: Did I say hospital? I meant Disneyland.